A mini me on the way, I have a parasite, there's a bun baking-whatever you wanna call it :)

If you've been living under a rock you probably don't know this, but I am pregnant. :) Shocking, I know, since I have been married for 7 1/2 years now and we just now found this to be our time to become parents. Maybe that makes us old fashioned? Many couples we know chose to mix up the order of starting a family-which is fine but then everyone turned to us for so many years asking, "So when are YOU guys going to have kids??" Well ask no more! We get more and more excited as each day goes by and I look down everyday and see less and less of my feet-eventually it'll look like I'm just floating I'm sure, from my point of view. A growing belly makes it seem more real to me, and the fact that in 5 more days we will know if it's going to be a little Ray or Andrea!

It's a funny feeling to know that for so long I watched childhood friends announce their pregnancies, post ultrasound pictures, belly pictures, how many weeks they are...EVERY week, pregnancy tickers, etc. on networking sites and now that could be me. I know it's the excitement that drives people to post this stuff but I don't really see the point in posting every little thing. So for me, I mostly post about the stuff that pertains to me, and if you want to know more beyond what I post you can ask. I just think some of these things can get annoying when you see person after person posting the same stuff. Sorry if all that sounded grumpy or mean-I'm not, it's just been my opinion.

As I sit on my couch on a bright and sunny Saturday morning I am fighting the urge to want to buy baby stuff. I have found that trying to stick to gender neutral things just does not work for me, it only gets me frustrated because they really aren't neutral! I stepped into a Baby's R Us recently with a friend for my first time and found myself completely overwhelmed with the variety and extent of what they carry-how the heck do you know which ones to pick??!!! Even walking through HEB (our grocery store here) down the baby aisle is too much for me, is there a class I can just take to tell me what I really need and what stuff is optional??!! I would love that. The other thing driving me absolutely nuts right now is baby names. 98% of the ones I hear or read about are either stupid, I have/had friends with that name, celebrities share the name etc. and we only have middle names picked out. I don't want names like Joe or Bob, or Jessica (no offense to those who have them)-too common for me, so what do people do in this situation? My luck we'll be arguing about names as I am pushing....it gives me a headache just thinking about it.

memories of the outdoors

I guess you can say I have been thinking about my life and surroundings and wondering where life will take me. Then I got to thinking about how I really enjoy the outdoors, which I haven't seen much of in nearly 7 years. Yes, I love living in the city-the convenience, variety of places to shop, work opportunities and activities. But camping, hiking, sitting by the water, riding a bike, even fishing which I seemed to always be forced to do as a kid-I miss. Every now and then I am reminded of things I learned. From something as simple as setting up a tent to baiting a fish hook and casting out into the cold Washington waters, I miss it. I guess that part of me never really left, just pushed far back in my mind but those kind of experiences stick with you. If you asked me to go camping here I think I would laugh in your face....come on, we have so many nasty critters-many of which bite and sting. I hardly think south Texas is the camping spot! I also remember learning how to gut a fish and prepare it, and shooting a bb gun-I have good aim so watch out and don't make me mad! haha Maybe one day I will live in an area where I can enjoy these things, or if I'm lucky enough I may be able to grow something in the ground other than ugly weeds and dead grass! :P

Facebook free speech, get used to it

Millions of people use Facebook for so many different reasons and we are all free to say what we want, so why should people complain about what others are posting about? I know that everyone has different reasons for being on there. Some people are using it to network, others just want to find old friends, to keep in touch with family, and some to connect with people long distance-the reasons are endless. Everyone is entitled to post what they want, even if they are venting or complaining about something. We are bound to read about stuff we don't want to read and see stuff we don't care to see.

I started seeing people complaining about other people and making rude or suggestive comments about their posts because they don't want to hear complaints or negative things. First of all, I don't want to read about you complaining about someone else's gripe. If you bluntly say you don't care about someone's problems, then fix yours! Do you know there is a block feature so you don't have to see that person's post? Better yet, how about you delete them if you're so tired of reading their postings? Facebook does not make you keep in touch with anyone you aren't interested in. You clearly aren't a very good friend if you have the nerve to voice your thoughts publicly, they will realize you're talking about them and discover how heartless you are. There are people on my friends list that post stuff every now and then that I could care less about but I get over it and move on, I don't see why this is so hard.

There are reasons people make posts on Facebook. Maybe you need an opinion on something, you have a bad day, you're having a fantastic day-whatever it may be. It could be that you want someone to lean on because you are alone, looking for advice, needing input from friends about a dilemma-I don't know. My point is you clearly have no idea why people post things, so have some respect or remove yourself from their friends list if it bothers you so much. Maybe it's time you do some house cleaning on your friends list so you only hear things you are interested in from people you actually care about. This is my gripe for today, not to offend anyone, but it was bugging me and I had to get it out. Thank you and goodnight. :)

Dog days of summer

Here I sit looking out the window into the strong, bright southern Texas sun and wonder when this weather will lighten up on us. As I write this, we are climbing into the 90's and expecting a high of 100 today. All I can say is ugh. It's nearly impossible to enjoy the outdoors for fear I will fry with my pasty pale skin, get heat exhaustion or dehydration. Not only that but when you do venture outside it sucks the life out of you so quick. I love taking Brutus to his dog park, but he is totally wiped out within 20 minutes from the heat and I have to take a towel with me to catch the river of sweat going down my face. I miss the Washington parks with nice green grass, trees, and a cool breeze. I have fond memories of this in the summertime as a kid.

Every now and then I stop and think if this is the place we are making our permanent home or if there is something bigger and better out there for us. How can you tell? You can't, I guess. I will keep going day by day as I have been, keeping in mind that my work is what keeps us going forward and pays our bills, and that things will only get better from here. If an opportunity presents itself for us we are not dead set on staying here. We have learned to live without our family there, it's great if they are but it won't hold us back. The military teaches you to be ready for anything, even if you aren't the service member. For Ray and I, the military-though we hated it at times, was a really good thing for us. I guess I kind of see it as a building block, a foundation. Our experiences both past and present define us, helped us grow, learn and create so many memories that we'll never forget.

Yay the lawn got mowed!

What a relief to be off work, enjoying my evening and not having to go back until Thursday. It's amazing the difference you feel between "I have to work tomorrow" and "I'm off tomorrow." As we were taught in a class at work, it affects your "mood elevator." Where is that thing anyway? I need to carry it around with me, I think just looking at it will make me laugh.

I just have to say I have the most awesome father in law EVER! I had trouble all last week trying to start our lawnmower so we wouldn't get a nasty-gram from the HOA. What does he do? Take time out from his busy day (he does lawn maintenance as a side job) and brings all his equipment over to mow and trim my front and backyard, and leaves me a replacement lawn mower to use next time. What a great dad-he deserves a medal or something, or maybe something a little more exciting like a case of his favorite beer-Bud Light.

So here I am trying to think what on earth I want to do on my birthday and I'm stuck. It's kinda hard to not feel guilty for spending money on yourself when you know there are plenty of things that need to be paid. Yet this isn't a new feeling; rarely in the last 3 years has money not been tight with us.

Believe me, when Ray finishes school next year I will jump up and down at his graduation. I may have to apologize to him though. The excitement may not be all for the degree, but to be nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, getting off this roller coaster, and to have a glimpse into what a stable life will feel like again. Heck, maybe I'll do a little song and dance, like "Gimme Money" that Ray made up. LMAO it's an inside thing but so catchy! Don't be surprised if you see me posting a little countdown ticker on here one day.

A little update...a year later :)

Well not a whole lot has changed in the last year I made a post. I'm still working insurance for USAA and Ray is still attending college, except now towards his bachelors degree in Technical Management and at DeVry University. He is set to finish in less than a year, depending how many classes he takes at a time. He does have a part time job now in the IT department of his school which he really likes. From what I hear the staff are all friendly, joke around together, seem to like him, and even include him on their twice-a-week ordering out for lunch that the company pays for. What's nice is anytime there is a question about classes or his financing he can just drop in to ask. However we are still struggling financially because of the VA Education benefits-they are always dropping the ball on something at the last minute, therefore we get no payment or less of a payment.

The latest in this is that now Ray is exhausting his Chapter 30 benefit at the end of August. With the Post 9/11 GI Bill now available we found he can continue school by filing for an extension under this program for up to 12 months. However the VA will not accept an application early, he would be penalized if we start the processing time. He must apply the day AFTER chapter 30 is done, go through the estimated 3-4 week processing time (all of Sept) but it is expected to be even longer with people enrolling in school for the fall. He will still be in the middle of attending class, receiving no benefit, and our household will be up to our eyeballs in debt because of this. I don't understand why this must be so difficult??!!! So, the VA makes our lives a living Hell, seemingly on a regular basis.

A real vacation for either of us, even up to Austin is so far from reach now (not to mention a Carribean cruise again) I want to cry just thinking about it. Moving to San Antonio, when I think about it has just been so difficult for me. I am a picky friend-picker, I guess you'd say. I don't have one of those friends like I used to as a teenager that I could just simply dump all my problems onto and they won't judge me. I haven't found many genuine people here, it sucks that people like that are few and far between. I don't know if this will get better with time or if it's just gonna be the way the cookie crumbles here.

Summer Update

Well, just wanted to give a quick update.....

Ray will be graduating from ITT Tech in mid-September, just got all the details on that. No big decisions will be made until we know what/where his new job will be, since we are not confined to just San Antonio. If something really good comes up outside of town then we will consider our options. I am hoping we can move out of this town home by year's end if we're lucky! Otherwise things are normal for the most part, carrying on with everyday life. For me, I am trying to take things one day at a time since I have a bad tendency of stressing over the unknown. Hope everyone else is doing well!